“Slow down; it’s not a race. There is no finish line.”

I’m over at Alamo City Moms Blog reminding you to slow down, there is no finish line.

The moment she feels her baby move inside her womb, she imagines the life her child will have.
She tries to picture the precious face of her baby and what color her hair will be.
She can’t wait to give birth, to get through the pregnancy and let her new life begin.
The mother-to-be rubs her belly, sighs, and says out loud, “Mom, I just want it to be over. Am I going to be pregnant forever? I can’t wait to finally have this baby!”
Her mom takes her by the hand and gently whispers, “Slow down, sweet girl; it’s not a race. There is no finish line.”

She’s exhausted from long nights and short naps and can’t remember the last time she slept for more than a few hours at a time.
The laundry is piled up, and the sink is full of dishes.
She plops herself in the glider, lifts her shirt, and begins to feed her newborn.
While her baby quietly breastfeeds for the millionth time that day, she twirls one of her daughter’s curls around her finger.
She sighs and thinks, This can’t be what my life is all about. When will she sleep through the night? I can’t wait until she’s able to walk and talk!
Then she recalls her mom’s gentle whisper: “Slow down; it’s not a race. There is no finish line.”

Read The Rest Here

There Is No Finish Line

5 Inspiring Friendships Between Bio-Moms And Stepmoms. Check out #1!

Completely humbled today. My blended family’s story is featured on the Huffington Post in an article on 5 Inspiring Friendships Between Bio-Moms And Stepmoms. We are featured alongside Jada Pinkett Smith and her coparent. I absolutely love our beautiful blended family. I’m thankful for my awesome husband, ex husband and daughter’s Stepmom for rocking this coparenting thing.

Check it out here!

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7 daily steps to healthy co-parenting.

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A few months back I had some friends ask if I would write about the birds and the bees. It was uncomfortable for some but I did it.  Now I’ve had a few friends ask that I write about co-parenting. It could be because I have a not so common co-parenting situation. It will be uncomfortable for some but I did it. I’ve been co-parenting with my ex-husband for 14 years and while we’ve had a few speed bumps along the way, we’ve had an oddly easy road. I honestly can’t remember the last time we had a disagreement and have no idea when the last time we actually verbally argued . I can say with certainty that it takes maturity on both sides to make it work and it has to be ALL about the child. I’d say when it comes to co-parenting ,on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the best, we’re a solid 11. I’ve learned a few lessons over these 14 years that I think are pretty vital to assure that co-parenting works. I’m aware that there are unique situations that might not fit into these 7 suggestions but I also know that the majority of co-parenting situations can be so much easier than we make them. This is simply what I think are vital qualities to a healthy child in a co-parenting situation.

1. Brush your teeth and don’t forget to scrub your tongue.
Rule number one is to keep your mouth clean and to never let nasty words about your co-parent leave your mouth and enter the ears of your child. Bad mouthing your child’s other parent is toxic to the child and you are essentially bad mouthing half of who they are. You’re also making yourself look mean and bitter while slowly grating away at who your child is. My ex and I have always made it a point to hug each other when we are in front of our daughter even if we wanted to wring each others necks. She has never heard a single negative thing out of either of our mouths about her other parents, never and that includes step parents. No matter how solid you think your relationship is with your child, no matter how right you think you are in your feelings towards your co-parent, if you bad mouth them your child will resent you for it at some point in their lives. It might not be tomorrow or even 5 years from now but I promise it will happen.  Bad mouthing your child’s other parents falls in the category of Parent Alienation Syndrome and you don’t want to be that crazy parent do you?

2. Do this  math problem everyday. 1+1= 1
Your child should have one family. Co-parents need to be strong enough to accept each other as family and not make the child feel like they are living two separate lives.  A child should never have to pack an over night bag to go stay at their parents house. A child should have everything they need at both houses and shouldn’t feel like a guest or overnight visitor in either home. All extended family members are equally family members, even if you think your side of the family is better than theirs. Our daughter has 4 half sisters, a half-brother and a step sister but our family doesn’t use those words. In our one big family she has 5 sisters and a brother. Step parents are just as responsible and respected as bio parents. We do not have separate birthday parties and we all sit together if our child has an event we need to attend. We are her family, one family.

3. Do yoga every morning                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Stretch it out, you’re going to need to be flexible. My co-parent and I threw out custody papers a long time ago and decided to simply be adults about it all. We don’t believe in “my time” and “your time”. She’s our daughter, not a possession. In or eyes it doesn’t matter if she’s with me or him, as long as she’s with family. We do every other weekend but in the summers and holidays we kind of just do whatever. This year she spent Mother’s Day at his house, not because I didn’t want her with me but because she was staying that weekend with him and he wanted to cook dinner for his mom and have her there too. She was with family and that’s what matters.  We simply share in the joy of raising her with out the stress of a schedule drawn out by lawyers who don’t really know our family dynamics. If you are all about sticking strictly to the papers then I hope you never have anything come up where you might need your co-parent to work with you bending them a little. You can’t have it both ways.

4.Wash your laundry everyday, empty the dirty laundry hamper.                                                                                                                                  Let it go. Stop airing dirty laundry.  If you’re still bringing up what your co-parent did wrong 2, 5, 10 years ago then you are carrying a weight that is crippling you and the healthy growth of your child. Let it go.  And really, how clean is your closet? Be honest. There is no perfect parent so if you want to point out your co-parents flaws, you might want to get a mirror.  Life is much better for all involved if you learn to encourage each other as parents instead of bash each other or try to win as the better parent.  The parent who’s keeping score will always end up to be the loser.

5.Take off your tiara  and pack it away                                                                                                                                                                                          It’s no longer about you. Your days of reining over your world are over. It’s now only about the child and what’s best for them.  What is truly in the best interest of your child might not match what you feel is in your best interest. Sorry for your luck. If you are currently arranging things to ease your feelings then you’re doing it wrong.  Your job is to nurture the relationship between your child and your co-parent without letting yourself get in the way. What!?  Yes, they aren’t puppets, they’re people and trying to control their relationship is a hopeless battle. Instead try encouraging them to have their own unique relationship and not one you designed for them.  If one of your parents bad mouthed your other parent or tried to control your relationship with them, break the cycle instead of continuing a toxic tradition.

6.Upgrade your cell phone plan                                                                                                                                                                                                          Communicate with each other, respectfully. Talk about things, talk about everything. Talk to each other, not through your child. Don’t bottle issues up only to explode later or pull them out as a weapon when needed. Just communicate and work things out like adults.  You are not always going to see eye to eye and that’s okay, it’s normal but it doesn’t have to be World War 3. This is when the yoga things comes in handy again. You’ll have to bend and compromise. You can’t always have your way. Have enough respect for yourself, your co-parent and most important your child to sit down and work out issues before they cause friction in your family.  NEVER EVER EVER involve your child in adult situations, they are children and need to stay that way. They should not shoulder the burden of adult problems.  Involving them in adult situations is extremely selfish and immature.

 

7. Take a daily trip.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     So remember that one time when you really really liked your co-parent, maybe even loved them.  There had to be a time at some point when you thought enough of them to lay down with them if you know what if you know what I’m saying.  Remember that daily.  Gross right? Not really. Remembering why our child’s here in the first place can take away negative thoughts about your co-parent. I mean really, look at your child and remember that they wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for your co-parent. Try thanking them for it today.

 

I think my most rewarding moment as a co-parent was when I got a call from the school counselor when my daughter was in second grade. She told me that she had my daughter and another little girl in her office just chit chatting about different things. The other little girl said that her parents were getting a divorce and she was mad. My daughter chimed in and said “So what, my parents are divorced and they love each other”. The counselor was calling to tell me congrats on whatever it was that my ex and I were doing because our little girl was clueless that divorce can cause major issues. She was just completely confident that no matter what her mommy and daddy loved her and each other and that’s all that counts. That’s not to glorify divorce or say that we want our daughter to think divorce is easy or good. It says that we have done everything possible to not let our choice for divorce to negatively affect her. It was our choice, not our daughter’s.

 

true friendship

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Sweet Renee wrote for us again. She is my rock. This woman knows every detail of my life inside and out and continues to love me. She has never turned her back on me or thrown out our friendship even if she disagrees with me. She is loyal. She is the perfect example of a true friend. Renee, thank you for continuing to pour your heart out for us but one of these days I’m going to force you to write the prayer 😉

Teenage Grownup

As most of you already know I had my son at a very young age and had to grow up very quickly.

My son is 18 now and going to college and raising him to be a responsible and respectful man has had its challenges. One of the things that I have instilled in him is how important it is to be a good, sincere and honest friend.

As he has gotten older we talk about a lot of adult things, and I have enjoyed when he comes to me about issues between friends and looks for my advise.
A friend of his that he has known now since middle school found out she was going to have a baby.

He came home and expressed to me how concerned he was for her and asked my advice as to how he could be supportive. You see this young lady wasn’t getting such encouraging words from her family. Her boyfriend soon was not a boyfriend anymore and she was lost and scared.

I was in her shoes at that age.

I shared my thoughts and feelings.

I told him all the things that were hard and all the things that were good. But most of all I told him how my friends made every difference in the world. Just them being there when I needed to talk or coming by to hang out with me cause I was feeling lonely.

They went to doctor appointments with me and helped shop for maternity clothes.

After my son was born they were even more supportive.

These wonderful ladies are still in our life’s today! He decided right then that was the friend he was going to be. What a great young man to step up!!
Two years later he was asked to be this little baby’s godfather! He is so proud and so amazed at the beautiful gift that God gave. Every young mother out there deserves a friend and a loyal support system. Something that I know made being a young mom every difference in the world!

Let’s Pray

Loving Father thank you for the people who you place in our lives and the friendships that you allow us. Teach us to be the kind of friend that you son was. Help us accept each others flaw and help each other through troubled times.  When the devil comes knocking, make us strong enough not to answer the door. In Jesus name, amen.

I have witnessed first hand just how amazing Renee’s son truly is. Clearly he was raised by a wonderful woman.

Love Me For Me.

 

 

Well Renee is at it again. She wrote for us this week and I couldn’t be more proud of her. She’s starting to get pretty brave these days. Take it away Renee.

 

Growing Up Too Fast

I left home at 16. At 17 I had my son, graduated High School and got married. At 20 I became a single mom. I never really was a teenager. Having a child so young tends to make you grow up real fast. I would never change any of it. But there is sadness.

I regret that my mom and I don’t have a mother/ daughter relationship. It breaks my heart that I am not the son she always wanted,( hence-Renee). I am an only child. She got cancer at a young age and so she was never able to have more children. Just me. Only me.

I’m not sure that she will ever forgive me for my teenage years. I skipped school, didn’t make straight A’s, lied about going to the movies when I was really at a party. Came home drunk once… I can say that I never did drugs, was never arrested, never started fights, never sneaked out of the house, never took the car without permission. But she reminded me everyday how horrible I was.

That’s why I left home.

Changing My Life

I work everyday to follow God. I have always been a believer but have just recently started living with honesty in my heart. She was the first person that I wanted to tell. I wanted to show her that I was different.

I could be this perfect person.

Actions, looks and mind, everything. But still it’s just not enough. I struggle with how she feels about me and I am tired. When I apologized to her for all I had ever done to hurt her I also told her that I had forgiven her for all the times she hurt my feelings. She took it as an insult and denied that she had ever done wrong.

Talk about jaw dropping. When you tell someone that they are forgiven, are they suppose to feel grateful or insulted??

What are your thoughts friends?

Is there that one person out there that you try to please?

That one person who you feel will never except you for you?

Does it break your heart?

We can’t beat our self up when it comes to forgiving. Whether you need forgiveness or need to forgive. I pray everyday for both…people who I have hurt and people who have hurt me. We talk a lot about this topic here at W3! Mostly because It may very well be the hardest to overcome. It’s something that we will go through for the rest of our lives, because unfortunately we can’t control others words or intentions.

We can only control us!

Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father thank you for the unconditional love and forgiveness that you so willingly pour out on us. Your grace is more than we could ever beg for. Please help us to have peace in our hearts for the loss of relationships that have been destroyed by earthly feelings and things. We know that you are good all the time and we take rest in that. In Jesus name, amen.

I’m A Lousy Mom

Solo Parenting

My husband was out of town all last week so I was parenting my herd of girls solo. Many many years ago I was a single parent to our oldest daughter but this time around was a whole new thing. Six year old triplets take a more than one set of hands.

Getting the girls off to school, fed, dressed and hopefully with their teeth brushed was a huge task. I can’t honestly say that they all brushed their teeth everyday and there is a possibility that on more than one occasion they went to school in dirty socks (shirts, skirts and pants).

This wasn’t the best week for my husband to have to leave town.

On Tuesday I had to speak at a fundraiser. On Wednesday I had to take the girl to bible study and teach a class. On Thursday morning I had to sit through a three hour meeting at my daughters school with a bunch of specialists and her teacher to map out a plan for her future education and special needs.

I’m already a terrible housekeeper so keeping up with all that cleaning was more pressure than I had expected. My youngest triplet even said “You’ve had to do everything mommy, even the laundry. You know, because dad always does the laundry and takes out the trash and sissy does the dishes”. Ouch. Who do you think cooks around here kid!!

Lousy Mom

The defining moment of my week as a solo parent was when we were leaving bible study Wednesday night.

My 6 year old autistic daughter was mad because we were packing boxes for Operation Christmas Child and she couldn’t understand why she couldn’t pack a box for herself. As we all sat with the kids and listened to them take turns praying over the boxes, my little Justin started loudly proclaiming that she was ready to go home. I was taking my time enjoying the kids and soaking in the sight of their faces light up as the prepared gifts. But my Justin was relentlessly hounding me to leave.

I called it quits and packed the family up a little early. Yep, I bailed on the other bible study teacher and the kids.

As we were leaving Justin started grunting at me because she was so irritated and because I am so mature I started grunting back at her. It escalated. Quickly.

In the middle of the parking lot Justin stopped, turned to me and said “Mom, you are just really lousy”. I didn’t doubt her judgement.

I had woken up extra early each day, scrambled to get through the day and to make sure they were taken care of. I had stood in front of 100 men and cried thanks to them for giving to Morgans Wonderland and sobbed through the story of my little Justin. I had sat through a three hour, extremely detailed, heart wrenching meeting to defend my little Justin’s rights and I had even taken them out for ice cream! All of that and she calls me lousy for not jumping on her demand to go home.

His time, not ours

I do this to the one who cares for me.

All day, everyday God is by my side. He makes sure that I arrive safely and depart on time, His time.

He makes sure that I am fed and have a roof over my head. He calms me when I am scared and He reminds me to be thankful.

He gives me the power to forgive.

He speaks on my behave. He makes sure that my life plan is set out for me. He sits through my boring hours with pride and He defends my honor.

He does all of that for me and then I grunt at Him when He doesn’t answer my prayers right when I want Him too. I want things now and He takes His time to answer them when He knows is the right time.

I may or may not have, on more than one occasion, turned my face to the sky and said “God you are just really lousy!’.

You don’t have to admit it out loud but have you ever felt that way? Have you ever been mad at God for not jumping on your prayers right away? Have you ever rolled your eyes at Him or even doubted that He was listening.

I want it now!
I want to go home now!
I want a new car now!
I want my marriage fixed now!
I want a partner now!
I want children now!
I want the cancer to go away now!
I want to be in heaven now!
I want to see Your face now!
Answer me, NOW!

Any of that sound familiar? It does to me.

Oh how amazing is our Savior. Oh how perfect is His timing.

Have you ever looked back on your life and realized how perfect God’s plan really is and how if He would have answered your prayers (demands) when you wanted Him to, it would have been a mess?

I have. Thank you sweet heavenly Father for making me be patient.

If you are wringing your hands with anxiety over when God is finally going to bless you, or fix you or answer whatever it might be that you cry out to Him for, be still.

He has perfect timing, not us. He knows what our future holds, not us. He has gone before us and knows exactly what we need, not us.

Be still. Have faith. Do not be anxious. Be patient.

The night that Justin proclaimed me to be lousy, I still tucked her into bed, kissed her head and reminded her how much I love her and that I will still go to the ends of the earth for her. So, if by chance, you find your self in a moment of weakness with your head tilted towards heaven screaming at God about how lousy He is, remember that He loves you and forgives you. You are only human and He knows that we are weak. It makes Him loves us even more.

Let’s Pray

Merciful Father thank you for listening to our prayers and answering them on your time and how you want to answer them. Help us to have faith in your plan for us and help us to surrender to you. We are weak and impatient without you but we know that if we rely on you and have faith in your plan then our lives will be greater than we could have ever dreamed. When we are stuck wanting our prayers answered now, gently remind us that you have gone before us. In Jesus name, amen.

This week at school the triplets had to tell their teachers what they are thankful for. Myleigh said that she was thankful for her mommy…awww. Bella said that she was thankful for God….be still my heart. Justin said that she was thankful for Turkeys, because they give her hugs…I think that’s lousy!

I’m A Failure Of A Mother

As I was in the line to check out line at the grocery store I saw one of those ridiculous magazines that likes to spew false stories about celebrities. One of the story headlines read “JLo is a C- mom”. Really? I wonder who wrote this article. I highly doubt that this “insider” has ever spent any time with “JLo”,. oh crap I can’t carry on calling her that, her name is Jennifer for crying out loud. I’m not crazy about her but I really have no room to judge her. I don’t know her and I’m not the greatest mom so I certainly wouldn’t put a C- stamp on her abilities as a mother. I wonder why the person writing the article thought that she deserved a C- rating. Is it because she has nannies do most of the work. I call that lucky not lazy. Is it because she spoiled the crud out of those kids? I call that blessed not spoiled. Why in the world would someone write an article about someone that they don’t know and rate what kind of person they are. If my “insider” wrote a magazine article on me the headline would read “Candy C (just trying to relate to JLo here, stick with me) is an F+ mom”. I gave myself a little credit with the +, I didn’t want you to think that I was a total failure. My + is for the fact that I feed my children, bathe them, groom them and most of the time love them. Yep, I said most of the time. Let me give you some examples. My oldest daughter came home from camp today. She told me that she had lost her dorm key and that it cost $25 to place. WHAT! I lost it. I explained to her how hard someone had to work to make $25. She told me that it was no big deal and that they didn’t take her cash because they were just going to take it out of my credit card. Oh silly little girl, moms lesson starts now. I once made this child adopt a child from an underprivileged country with her own money because she spilled paint on our driveway and thought it was no big deal. Tonight when she asked what we were having for dinner I politely told her that she would be taking the family out to get tacos. She said “are you seriously going to make me use my $25 on dinner for everyone?”. I reminded her that her $25 was in the form of a lost credit card 100 miles away and my $25 was sitting in her pocket in the form of cold hard cash. I loved watching her see her sister eat the $25 that she thought was no big deal. Bad parenting or plain genius? A married couple that we are good friends with say that I have major “tough love” parenting. I’m cool with that. Make me a sash and I will proudly wear it. I know this one mom that put her baby in a basket and threw him in a river. Uh Oh. Her headline would probably read “Desperate Mom Throws Baby In River, F- rating!”. What the heck was she thinking? Who does that? I could sit here and judge her decision over and over and justify why I am a way better mother than she is. I could get all of my friends together and have a gossip session on her and what a horrible mother she is. The tabloids could rate her on their cover. She is probably one of those young moms, they never have any idea what to do. Maybe she was one of those moms that starts having kids too late in life and was too tired to care for him. Where the heck was her husband anyways? We could judge her. We would all be wrong. Yes, she threw her baby in a river. I don’t recommend it to anyone but did we stop to get the whole story? She had been warned that someone was coming to kill her infant son. She was desperate to save his life by any means necessary. She made a basket, one that would float like a boat. She gently set him in it and pushed it out in to the river. She would rather have taken the chance that someone find him away from where she was than have to watch him be put top death. The story has an amazing ending. That little boy grew up to be someone very amazing and with Gods direction he even parted the Red Sea. You won’t find a cheesy headline about him but you can read all about him starting in Exodus. I don’t think we are in a place to judge that mommy now. Why do we think that we can rate poor Jennifer Lopez who’s life is splattered all over every paper that we pick up? Can you imagine what it felt like for her when she picked up that magazine and saw that someone had actually rated what kind of mother she is. My feelings get hurt if one person says something about my parenting skills, I can’t imagine what she felt like to know that millions of people would see her rating. Lets stop comparing ourselves and rating others. We are all in this struggle and have been for centuries. Shouldn’t we embrace each other, help each other and support each other. We have children who are growing up and will one day become parents. Do we really want them to be rated on their parenting? Wouldn’t that really just be a reflection of how we raised them. I bet Moses’ mommy could have used a little more support. Let’s pray “Heavenly Father teach us how to have compassion for each other and open our eyes to help us see things in a different light. Help us to take the ratings off of peoples backs and put our arms there instead. Show us mercy and grace when we fall short of Your glory and make us warriors for each other. In Jesus name. amen”. Every time that my daughter gets a conduct mark in class or shows any sign of disrespect anywhere she has to sit down and write a letter to whomever she offended. It’s her least favorite punishment and I love it. C- for me too JLo, hang in there girl!

The Number You Have Dialed Is No Longer In Service

 

When I was many moons younger than I am now I had a boyfriend that went to school in another city.  We would call each other every single night and talk for hours.  Occasionally I would fall asleep on the phone.  Aww how cute.  What wasn’t very cute was the phone bill that was headed my way.  My mother was a single mom struggling to make end meet as it was and did not need to see that phone bill land on the table.  Our mail box was around the corner from our house and required a key to get the mail.  I took the key so that I could get to the phone bill before she did.  I’m not sure what I had planned after that.  Its not like I had a job.  I finally got my hands on the phone bill and hid it.  Brilliant.  It was a well thought out plan right up to the moment that the phone company turned our service off. Oops.  I wont repeat exact what went down in my house when my mom figured out what had happened but the $1000.00 that she/me/we owed to the phone company was more than either of us had.  I think that it was the first time that she grounded me and stuck to it.  Needless to say there were no more late night phone calls with my boyfriend. As a matter of fact, there were no more phone calls at all,to anyone.  What made me think that I was going to get away with that?  There was no doubt that I could not hide it from my mom forever.  There were definitely going to be consequences.  Delaying them did not make things any better.  I should have confessed right away. Ok, I should have never done it in the first place. I do this with God all of the time.  I sin, knowing that I shouldn’t be doing it at the time and thinking that somehow I could keep it from Him. I steal the key and check the mail box each day hoping that He wont realize what I’ve done.  I’m a fool. He doesn’t need the key, He can shut off my service whenever He feels like it. I guess you could say that He has the Master Key. There’s no hiding it from God.  He knows about the sin before we commit it.  We are better off confessing to Him, asking for forgiveness and asking for His help to be a better person from then on. Even better, we should just pray that we don’t fall in to sin in the first place.  You may think that God doesn’t punish us because He is so merciful and forgiving but I think that is wrong. I believe that God tries to help everyone but I also believe that you have to be open to His love and believe in His son Jesus Christ as our savior.  What if someone told you over and over that you weren’t good enough to be friends with, that you  don’t fulfill their needs, that you weren’t pretty enough to be seen with or that your love for them wasn’t worth accepting?  Does that sound like someone that you would lay your life down for?  Is that someone that you want to help, to heal, to save?  I doesn’t to me.   Do you think that when you go against Gods will He wants to scoop you up, love on you and give you your hearts desire.  Nope.  I’ve been there, trust me, it can get pretty ugly.  I treated my marriage like I deserved it, like I owned it, like I was the boss of it and I certainly did not make God the center of it.  So, God threw it in the mud.  He smeared my marriage, He broke it in half and then said that I had a choice.  I could fix my eyes on God, make Him top priority,trust and believe in Him or I could continue to be me.  He would do with my marriage what He saw fitting after I started living my life the way that I should be and not the way that I wanted.  I chose to follow Him and it led my husband to follow Him as well.  When our hearts were truly fixed on God and nothing else, He cleansed us, fixed us, made our marriage more special and wonderful than I had ever dreamed of.  Yes, He punishes us.  I don’t think that He directly puts a punishment on us, I just think that He takes His hands off of us and without Him we are nothing. To me, not having Gods hand on my life is punishment.  The beauty of it is that its our choice.  You can live the way you want, you are free as a bird but you are also free to fall without a net.  Or, you can live your life focused on our heavenly Father and reap the benefits of being His child. I’ll take the second option thank you. Have you ever read about Kind David and what the Lord did to him when he strayed from the truth of God.  Ouch, pretty scary.  I don’t even like to think about it, much less read it.  If you dare, take a look at 2 Samuel 11 and 12, it might make you walk a little straighter in the Lords word. It will also stir a huge debate about Gods grace and mercy.  In the end it’s your choice, free as a bird or Gods child.  Lets pray “Merciful Father teach me how to be open and honest about my sins.  Lead me not into temptation.  When I am faced with temptation that is to much for me to resist help me to be brave enough to confess. Have mercy on me when I lose focus and turn my eyes from You.  In Jesus name, amen.”  My moms birthday is coming up next month.  Who thinks it would be kind of fun to get her a calling card as her gift.  Funny or too soon?

Take a minute to read this verse today.  It is in my top favorites and brings me much comfort. It might be one to hang on your mirror or anywhere else you could catch a glimpse of it throughout the day.
“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”  1 Corinthians 10:13

Thank you sweet Father.

Mommys Day

I’ve had the same best friend since I was 6. We met at the same elementary school that my little girls go to now. Her family was my second family. Her mom called me daughter number two. We literally spent every weekend together and went to school with each other until we graduated. Even after high school we moved in together. She is the sister that I never had (of course I have a biological sister now but she was not born until I was 23). I love her like she is my family. She is my family. Her grandparents had a nickname for me and every time they said it I felt so special. Her aunt treated me like I was hers and it felt like her cousins were my cousins. I can not explain to you how much I looked up to her and still do. She was and is sweet, smart, passive and kind. All the things that I lacked growing up. We grew up side by side. Exactly a year ago, on this same day, she called me. She asked me what I was doing and where I was. I could tell that something wasn’t right. She had been my best friend for 30 years, I could tell in her voice that she was going to tell me something I didn’t want to hear. Very calmly she said “My mom is dead.” I was driving down the highway with my kids in the car and I felt like screaming and pulling over right there. My heart broke for her. Someone had found her mom in her apartment, in bed and passed away. I couldn’t believe that my best friend was going to have to go through this. She seemed okay but later when I talked to her husband he said that she had broken down a few times. All I wanted was to be able to know what to say to her and do for her. The next day was mothers day. My best friend and her little brother, whom I consider a brother myself) spent their Mothers Day at a funeral home planning their mothers funeral. Seriously God, on Mothers Day! Why would You do that! On that same day is when my husband and I dedicated our triplets in church and took my mother out to lunch. I felt guilty that my friend was sitting in a funeral home. Why in the world my sweet God, why would you do this? Where is the lesson? Where is the blessing? I still cant answer that. I still don’t know why He took her the day before Mothers Day. I’m not mad at Him and neither is my best friend but we still just don’t know why. I know that my best friend wants to enjoy her two beautiful boys on Mothers Day but I also know that she will have her mind on where she was last year. Not fair. Not fair that I will be eating lunch with my mom and she will be thinking of planning her moms funeral. Not fair. I think that God put her and I through this because 6 months to the day after they found her mom, they found my dad. He was in a hotel and died by his own hands. After 30 years of friendship, our parents died the same year on the same day of the month and both were found alone. There is no way that I would have made it through my fathers death without my best friend and I know that she needed me when her mom passed. How long do you think that God had been planning that? Decades? Years? Months? days? When does He start planning our path? I don’t know. I know that He knows us before we are even a thought. I know that He knits us in our mothers womb. I know that He does good for those who love Him and I know that my friend and I love Him so, I will wait patiently to see what good came out of both of us loosing our parents last year. Stop this weekend and think about God knitting you in your mothers womb. Why did He choose her to be your mother? If you were blessed enough to be adopted think about how careful God was in choosing your parents and how blessed you are that He chose to knit you in the womb of a woman that loved you enough to give you a loving home. I roll my eyes at my mom, yes, Im 36 and still roll my eyes. I take her for granted much too often. I have an amazing mom and will make sure that i give thanks to God for knitting me in her womb, for choosing her as my mother. Lets pray “God thank you for the blessings that You hand out to us daily. Please help me not to take any moment with my mother for granted. Be with those who have lost their mothers and wrap Your arms around them for comfort. Comfort those who are struggling to become a mother. I know that You have a plan for them and will one day knit together their child if its in their womb or another woman’s. Tomorrow morning please give sweet Mary a kiss from me and tell her how much I love her and want to model my faith from her. In Jesus name, amen.” So what is it that you want for mothers day tomorrow? I want to lay in bed, never get out of my pajamas and have all my girls snuggle up and watch movies all day.