Be where you are right now. Letting go and being present.

 

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My daughter is probably going to get bullied when she starts middle school in 2 years. She has autism and is different from the other kids. The older they get the more obvious it becomes and middle school is a brutal time for any child.  I think about it all the time and am constantly trying to figure out how to prevent it, save her, change the challenges she faces.

My other daughter is a little over a year away from entering college. I lose sleep at night worrying about her leaving the nest and being on her own. I budget our entire lives every single night trying to figure out how we’re going to afford her school.

My son starts kindergarten in a few years and I can’t decide where he will go to school. Will we keep him in the school all of our other children have gone to or will we put him in the one that’s closer to home? I try to finalize our decision every time I pass the school that’s near us…and that’s every single day.

We have a life changing event headed our way, something that will completely change our family dynamics. The change is coming, it’s out of our control, but I’ve lost hours and hours of sleep wondering how we can stop it or change it. I will myself to travel back in time and fix the moment it was broken.

In the middle of a conversation about all the possibilities of what might or might not happen in the future, my sweet friend looked me in the eyes and said “Just be where you are right now. You can be somewhere else later.”

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I’m losing precious time.
I’m stealing my very own joy right out of my own hands.
I’m robbing my family of having their mom and wife be fully present.
When I take myself out of the now to worry about the maybe, I miss out on what I have right in front of me.

I’m changing my outlook today. I’m going to choose to be where I am right now. I’m going to have the courage and faith to let go and be present right now, where I am and with who I’m with .

I’m not going to let worry of the future steal the joy I have in the moments that are in my sight, in the air I’m currently filling my lungs with. I’m taking my peace back and I’m giving it to the people who are in my life right now and deserve to have the current me, not the one that’s stressing about what might be. I’m not going to miss out on the small moments that hold so much happiness. All the tiny moments combined are what form the most beautiful stained glass and I don’t want to miss a single piece of it.

We have a choice to be fully present.
We have a choice on what our attitude will reflect.
We can choose joy in the now or fear for the future.

I choose joy. 

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I have no idea what tomorrow holds but I know that from now on I will just be where I am right now. I can be somewhere else later.

 

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