Fearing The Broken Speaker




We have a pretty amazing attraction in our city. If you’re from San Antonio,Tx you’ve more than likely been there.We can boast about the Alamo, Seaworld, Fiesta Texas, The River Walk, SPURS and so much more but there’s a hidden gem tucked away that only locals know the road to by heart.

Kiddie Park (kiddiepark.com) is the oldest children’s amusement park in the country and every single child in San Antonio and most adults that grew up here have been invited to a birthday party there or had their own birthday party there.

You won’t find big fancy rides, games with prizes or concession stands full of novelties. You’ll find a simple park on a few acres that consists of the original rides that found their way there in 1925.

Our children now go to parties with their classmates at the same place I went to parties with my classmates. That makes me happy.

I took the triplets to a birthday party there a couple of weekends ago and I’m not sure who was more excited, them or me. (It was me by a long shot).

The birthday girl was from Bella’s class but her mom let all the triplets come. That doesn’t always happen for us so we were pretty excited to spend the day at Kiddie Park all together.

The second we got there the kids were off. Several little 6 year olds were making a mad dash to get on any and every ride. I was just trying to keep up. After a few rides they all made their way to the school bus. It’s a miniature school bus attached to some tracks that slowly makes its way in a huge circle.

Simple enough.

I watched all the kids pile in and noticed that Justin, my autistic daughter, was in the back and her face had a worried look. I assumed it was because of the tight space filled with lots of kids. I was blocked behind the fence that keeps everyone out of the area of the ride so I yelled at Justin’s sisters to check on her.

It’s didn’t work, they both said she was fine but at this point she had her ears covered and I knew the melt down was only a few seconds away.

Then came the scream of terror and cry of desperation.

I pushed through the gate like a bull coming out of the pen and ran to rescue my little girl. She wouldn’t take her hands off of her ears and kept saying “the buzzer doesn’t like me, the buzzer doesn’t like me. I need to go home!”

I hadn’t noticed the bright red speaker that was mounted on a pole in the center of the ride.

I explained to the ride operator what was happening and asked if the speaker was going to make a noise. He assured me that nothing was going to come out of the speaker because it was broken.

I knelt down next to my daughter and calmly explained that nothing was going to come out of the speaker but she couldn’t understand it. She was so upset about it that she couldn’t accept that nothing bad was going to happen. To her the speaker meant a noise that was going to hurt her ears.

We had to go to the other side of the park and skip the rides in that area.
My little girl missed out on half the park because of a speaker that was broken and no threat to her at all. She couldn’t even trust that I was going to take care of her if the buzzer went off and ended up missing out on some pretty great moments.

We miss so much in our lives waiting for the buzzer to sound.
We lose sleep wondering if it’s really broken.
We own anxiety because we can’t fully trust in the One who will protect us.

The speaker might not ever make a noise.

I wonder what we’re missing when we waste our time worrying about what might happen. We’re staying away from half of the park because of a speaker that we aren’t even sure is ever going to make a sound.

What are we missing by not fully living in the moment?

I’m afraid that my little girl is going to get made fun of because she isn’t like the other kids, you know the “normal” ones, and I spend a great deal of time thinking about how I can prevent it.

I’m worried that we will find financial ruin because of unexpected expenses that we never planned on having in our lives but are forced to deal with. I get anxiety about it and stress about what it will do to us.

I’m concerned about my teenager who is in middle school and facing peer pressure that she has never seen before. I want to protect her and take away any fears she might face.

I’ve been exhausted due to many sleepless nights.
I’ve had stomach aches caused by worry.
I’ve locked myself in the bathroom and tried to cry out my stress.
I’ve let my mouth ruin moments because of harbored bitterness.

Not a single one of the things that worry me have ever happened.

The speaker has never made a sound.

I’ve wasted half the theme park trying to avoid the noise that doesn’t exist.

Today I’m putting full faith in the One who is here to protect me. Whatever happens tomorrow is part of God’s plan and I won’t waste today worried about it.

I want to experience the whole theme park and I won’t let the fear of the speaker make me miss out.

Are you going to live in the moments or let the fear of tomorrow steal the beauty of today?

Let’s Pray

Loving Father show us today and the beauty that it holds. Help us love today and all the hidden blessings that we are overlooking. Remind us that tomorrow is already taken care of and all we need to do today is follow Your son. Take away the fears and anxieties so that we don’t miss a moment of the things that you have given us today. In Jesus name, amen.

When all the kids ran to get cake and ice cream I stayed behind with Justin to go on a ride that she had been waiting in line for. When we finally made it back to the party table the cake was all gone. I almost started crying, I didn’t want my little girl to feel left out or start completely freaking out. I immediately worried. My other daughter saw what was going on, got up from the table and handed her plate with cake and ice cream on it to Justin. My fear was intercepted by the loving bond and compassion of my little girls.

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