My Sweet Justin,
It’s April again and you know what that means, Autism Awareness Month.
There are some things I want you to know, listen closely my sweet girl.
During the month of April I shout about you as loud as I can but make no mistake, I fight like a bull for you every single day of the year. I’ve made it my mission to make sure you have every advantage life has to offer. Go big my sweet girl.
When you choose to play alone instead of with the group of kids it makes me proud of your independence. A huge smile flashes across my face because I know that you’re in your happy place. Do your thing my sweet girl
I don’t feel sorry for you. I never will. I refuse to. I know that you don’t feel sorry for yourself. I know that you are proud. I’ve watch you march up to complete strangers and introduce yourself with “Hi my name’s Justin and I’m autistic. That just means I see the world differently”. Wear it proudly my sweet girl!
For the rest of your life people are going to try to understand you, study you and figure out why you are the way you are. They are going to give you their opinions on what caused you to be the way that you are. They’ll blame vaccinations. They’ll point the finger at me and my actions while I was pregnant from what I ate to where I lived. They’ll blame red dyes, TV, bread and anything else they can think of.
This is when I really need for you to listen to me. Listen carefully.
You are special. You are unique and you are definitely one of a kind.
You are autistic.
I know why you are the way that you are and I want you to hear it from me.
You are the way you are because God makes everything perfect and that’s exactly what you are. There was no mistake made when He crafted you with His very own hands. You were intentional, thought out, planned and formed in my womb by the hands of our Creator just the way He wanted you. You are not flawed. You are not less. You are Gods gift, His work of art, His child.
The angels ran to God and pointed you out while shouting to Him “There she is! She’s the one!”. They danced and sang has He told them how wonderful and unique you were going to be here on earth. Tears fell from their face, not because they were sad for you but because they delighted in the generosity that God was going to lay on you.
I have no idea why God look down and picked me. I haven’t accomplished anything huge. I’m not famous, rich, brilliant or talented. I’m simple and haven’t done anything in my life to deserve the honor of being your mommy but I promise to spend the rest of my life honoring the gift that God gave me. I promise to always honor you.
Justin, you’ve always had autism my sweet girl but autism has never had you.
You are my sunshine.