My teenage daughter loves to call me “modest mom” and “safety parent”. However, she’s very clear on our expectations and how we want her to represent herself to her peers.
She has a very strong and close relationship with her daddy and stepdaddy and that will make a huge difference in her life as she enters the dating world. She is a child of divorce but we have made it a point to never let her feel that way. Her daddy, stepdaddy, stepmommy and I all make every effort to let her know that we all love each other, respect each other and that we are all equally her parents. None of us have ever used her as a weapon against each other and we have never spoken an unkind word about each other to her. We make it a point to never involve her in adult situation so she is allowed to be a child for as long as possible.
Her daddy and I never want to project what happened in our marriage on to her or to have her ever think that it was in any way her fault. It wasn’t. It is our number one goal to let her know that we love each other and that she is free to love each of us and her step parents without the guilt of hurting one of our feelings. She is not a pawn, a weapon or a tool for us to get what we want. We all decided long ago to be close friends, set our feelings aside and do what is right for her.
As crazy as she may think we all are I pray that we are doing it right. This article came across my facebook and reassured that our strictness, modesty and every effort to prolong being “in a relationship” is worth it. These are children and we need to make sure that they are allowed to be children for as long as possible. Letting them have boyfriends/girlfriends at such a young age is dangerous and setting them up for adult issues that they should not ever know about now or ever.