We moved six weeks ago. It was kinda a last minute thing. Well, I knew we were going to move, but we were planning on moving this summer. Not right smack dab in the middle of the school year. My two girls (4th & 3rd grade) were not too happy with us. And I don’t blame them. It was the first time they were at the same school two years in a row. They finally had made good friends.
It really was a hard decision for us to pull them out mid-year, but we knew it was the right one. Our family needed to be together under one roof.
Since last July, my husband had been commuting on the weekends (if he didn’t have to work) to see us. He had a new job (a year-long training) 3 hours away. We weren’t guaranteed that this training would turn into a job after the one year, so we were hesitant to move us all only to have to move again in a year. We decided the kids and I would stay in our home and he would come home when he could.
It was a hard adjustment at first, being all alone, but I got used to it. I had a routine set in place which saved my life. Breakfast, off to school, snack, homework, play, dinner, bed. We stuck to it and usually by 8pm everyone was asleep. I felt like I had good time with my kids and enough time for myself to keep it working.
When we moved in January, I didn’t want to make my kids start at a new school in the middle of the year (especially since we were just renting and might move again next year and then they would be in another new school). So, I decided I would home school them. Don’t laugh.
I had done this once before – the first year we moved to Tennessee and it was an epic fail. So why would I try it again? Well, because
I’m an idiot last time I was pregnant and sick (and depressed, but I didn’t know it) and this time I’m not pregnant or sick and now on meds 🙂 Plus, it would only be for half a school year. How hard could it be?
Uh… it’s hard.
It’s not so much the school work that’s difficult (though I do realize how much I don’t know!), but it is more of the juggling the four kids that I find challenging. I haven’t found a good routine and everyone is doing something different.
And then there’s the whole thing where everyone needs me all at the same time – how dare they! Plus the fact, my kids are with me all. the. time. Like 24/7. Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids. But sometimes, I just need a break.
A few minutes alone.
To close my eyes and hear nothing.
So, sometimes I hide.
But it never fails that within 5 minutes of hiding, I hear “MMOOOOMMMMMMYYYY! Where are you? I need you!!!!!!”
I reluctantly get up and find the one hollering at me. It’s usually to referee an argument, wipe someone, or they just wanted to see me. And I’m usually irritated that I had to come out of hiding for something I didn’t feel was that important.
Man, aren’t you glad God doesn’t do that?
That he doesn’t hide from us?
That he doesn’t get so annoyed with our childish ways, our constant disobedience, and our worries?
I am so thankful when I talk to him, he’s not like, “Um, sorry Amber. Talk to the hand. I just need some time alone, you’re driving me nuts today.”
Nope, it’s never like that…He’s always there.
He’s patiently waiting…waiting for us to come to him.
He doesn’t hide from us. He wants us to talk to him, to need him…no matter if that “need” seems important or not.
You’ll never hear him say, “Are you seriously praying for that? That’s no big deal, just get over it” even though we might think that about our own problems. But he wants to hear it…he wants all of it.
He’s waiting for me… for you….with a warm smile and open arms.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I am so thankful that you are not like me. That you do not hide from us. I pray that whoever needs to know that you are there…ready and waiting for them…would call out for your help. You want us to come to you with our worries and our problems and our needs. You want us to need you… for everything….total dependence. Because it’s in that complete dependence that we are truly free. Help us to remember that. That we don’t have to carry our burdens ourselves. That we are not alone in this. Thank you for your absolute, unconditional love. In your name we pray, Amen.
Here’s my latest hiding attempt. I was busted only after 5 minutes.
This post was written by Amber, where you can sometimes find her blogging at The Unconventional Doctor’s Wife…or hiding from her children.
A note from Candice- I love this woman who I have never met face to face. For some crazy reason she has by back. She supports me 100%. I think maybe we were separated at birth at some random hospital except I’m old and she’s not. Thank you Amber for having faith in me. Love you sister!