Practice makes perfect
I was a cheerleader in highschool. Lets just keep that between us okay.
Every year at the end of the year the entire spirit group, dance team, cheer, drill and pep squad, also known as the Lee-ettes, had a spring show. We would all dance and cheer in each of our separate groups and then at the end all of the senior girls would dance with their dads. Obviously it was called the father daughter dance.
We would dress up in formal gowns and the dads would dress in a coat and tie. I had already cut off my relationship with my father. Actually, the school got a couple of police officers to attend just in case he showed up, that unfortunately is not one of my jokes, its real.
I had dreaded this day for years leading up to it. My dad sent me a letter in the mail, yep that’s how old I am, and he asked me about the father daughter dance.
I never responded.
At that time, my mom had been dating the man that is now my stepdad for about a year. I asked him if he would dance with me.
He said yes.
You would have to know my stepdad to know how simple he is and how he does NOT dance. We had two practices leading up to the big night and my stepdad did not show for either. In his defense he owns his own company and was a very busy guy.
The night of the dance I put on my bravest face as I stood there in my formal gown in a line next to all the seniors facing their dads and the space across from me was empty.
I felt like a waste.
Once again I wasn’t even good enough for a father figure to show up and dance with me for 2 minutes.
But because God is cool, my stepdad showed up at the very last minute dressed to the nines and danced the night away with me.
Maybe I wasn’t a waste after all.
Not A Waste
The second night of our performance when I was getting ready to leave my house, my stepdad called me in to the living room. He told me that all the other girls at the dance were very dressed up and fancy except for me, he said I looked plain.
He then pulled a jewelry box from his pocket and said “so I bought you this.” It was a beautiful diamond and pearl necklace. I was definitely not a waste and my stepdad proved it to me that very moment.
In my eyes I was the luckiest daughter at the dance that night.
Always There For Me
I have those moments with my heavenly Father all of the time.
Have you ever looked up and said “where are you Father, why would you not be here for me”? I have, more than I care to admit. Just like my stepfather did, our heavenly Father always shows up at just the right time.
When we are standing there thinking that we are a waste, He rides in and shows us how much he really loves us. It is so hard to see that He is always there when you are in the moment of despair but knowing that He is there is what faith is.
I know that when it comes down to it, my stepdad will be there for me and when it comes to my heavenly Father I know that He is always with me.
I wasn’t standing alone that day of the dance while all the other girls stood across from their dads, my heavenly Father was standing across from me filling in until my stepdad had time to get there.
When you feel like you are standing alone, look harder, pray, breath. He is there.
“Dear Lord thank you for never leaving me. Help me to remember that You are a;ways with me. Comfort me in the moments that I feel like a waste. I love You and love the sacrifice You made for me. In Jesus name, amen.”
As my heart filled with pride while my stepdad led me around the dance floor, there was a heart breaking way up in the balcony of that auditorium. My dad had slithered his way in and hid up there. He watched from afar as I danced with the man who took his time to make me feel worthy and beautiful. Twenty years ago I thought that it was pathetic, now I just feel sorry for him that he wasn’t capable of dancing with me.