Several years ago I brought another man in to my marriage.
I had just had the triplets and my husband was working all the time. My self-esteem was gone. I didn’t feel pretty or loved. I know that my husband loved me but he was working odd hours all the time and when he was home we were just simply surviving.
We had 5 daughters under the age of 6, one income and a stack of bills. He didn’t have time to pamper me and I didn’t have time to show him much love or appreciation. Our marriage became all about the children and work.
We forgot about us.
So I met another man.
It was innocent and unintentional at first. I would meet my friends every Thursday morning and while I was there he started showing me attention. I eventually fell in love with him and started seeing him twice a week, sometimes more but I thought about him all day everyday.
He seemed to always be available to me, he showered me with affection and never once did he judge me. He thought I was beautiful.
I couldn’t tell my husband what was going on with this man. I don’t think he even cared. We had become absent in each others lives.
After a while I started taking my girls to meet the new man. My husband had no idea of the relationship his wife and daughters were forming with this man. The man begged me to tell my husband what was going on but I was too nervous, I didn’t know how he was going to react. I didn’t know if he would be angry or laugh in my face.
My husband was a lot smarter than I was giving him credit for. He knew it was going on. He knew that I was taking my girls to see him. He knew that I had given my heart away to this man.
Our marriage hit rock bottom.
Meeting The Other Man
I desperately wanted to save our marriage but my husband was worried that we wouldn’t be able to find forgiveness for each other. We began staying up all night, holding hands and talking through everything that had gone on over the years and how we had gotten to this point. We talked about this new man every single night. My husband asked me nonstop questions about him.
About a week after this started my husband told me that he wanted to go with me to meet this man.
I never went to sleep that night.
What was going to happen when they came face to face? Was my husband going to hate him and be bitter or would he understand? Would he push this man away or accept him as part of our lives.
The next day my entire family went to meet this man together.
My husband held my hand so tightly that it hurt.
We sat down and my pastor introduced my husband to the man. It was obviously the Holy Spirit was speaking through my pastor because it was as if we were the only people in that huge church of hundreds. He told my husband all about Jesus that day and how with Him all things are possible. My pastor told him how in love Jesus was with me and with him and that not only would He never leave us but that He has always been with us. He told my husband tht because of Jesus, he was forgiven.
My husband fell in the love with the man that I had fallen in love with years before. My husband gave his life to Jesus that day and agreed to let Him be number one in our marriage. He accepted Him into our home and agreed to have Him guide us in raising our daughters.
I finally had both of the loves of my life together and better than that ,Jesus became the main love in my husbands heart. I wasn’t jealous at all the he put Jesus in the number one slot, I was grateful.
I read a saying about an old couple that was asked how they had stayed married for so long and the wife replied “We come from a time where when things get broken you fix them”. I am thankful that we get to set that example for our daughters. I am thankful that God allowed me
and my husband to repair what was broken. Lets fight for our future generations, lets teach them the importance of God being first in our homes, in our lives, in our marriages, in our work, in our parenting and in our friendships.
It is mandatory that we put God back in the number one spot in everything we do.
One of my favorite verse is 1 Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” I want to be able to know at the end of the day that everything I did brought Him glory.
Challenge me to it, hold me accountable but most importantly, join me.
“Sweet heavenly Father, thank you for never leaving me and for being patient with me while I learned how to have a relationship with You. Help me to set an example for every set of eyes that sees me today. In Jesus name, Amen.”
. A month after my husband gave his life to Christ, he and I were baptized together. He bought us new wedding bands that we put on right before we were baptized. The are engraved with the words “God be with us together and apart”, I believe Jesus also wears one.