Listen Up God
I was 24 when I had my first daughter. My priorities weren’t exactly something that I would brag about.
I was separated from my husband at the time and preparing myself to be a single mom.
Every night when I went to bed I would try to picture my baby laying next to me. I even set out her onsies as if she was there so that I could visualize how little she would be.
In my mind she was about 7.6lbs with blonde hair and green eyes. She was going to be petite and her hair was going to be so blonde that it almost looked white. A perfect little white fuzz ball on top of her tiny round head.
I made sure to pray for all the appropriate things for her.
I prayed that she would not have my ears (refer to magilla gorilla post) and that she would not have her dads nose (dignified on a man but not so much on a little girl). I also prayed that she would get her daddy’s long lean body and my sense of humor. I prayed that she would be great at gymnastics and gifted at tennis.
After 21 hours of labor and not a drop of pain meds, my first daughter was born.
Excuse me, this isn’t my baby
They handed the 9.1lbs, 22 inches long baby that had the most horrible hair that I had ever seen. It was like a cul-de-sac. She was bald on top and had a ring of hair from one ear, around the back of her head to the other ear and it was brown hair. She was like a balding old man and she was huge. Her eyes were blue. I did not pray for blue.
Does God listen to ANYTHING I say!
Who’s kid did they just hand me?
Where was my petite, blonde, green eyed baby.
I inspected whatever child they had handed to me. Cute ears and a button nose. Ok God so you do listen…to some of my prayers.
What the heck was that above her eyes? Did two caterpillars make their homes there? Oh no! I forgot to pray for eyebrows that required very little plucking. Dang it, it was too late. She had her dads eyebrow.
I tease both of them relentlessly about those caterpillars. It’s all in good fun, they tease me about my ears. I promise that I am not (intentionally) ruining my child.
So who did I think that I was. I was making request to God about what my daughter should be and what she should look like.
Shame on me.
God only makes things that are perfect
While God was knitting my child together in my very own womb I was praying about how He was doing it and trying to coach Him on how to get it right.
I told you that I was a control freak, even God had to deal with my craziness.
Do you ever do that?
Do you thank God for His amazing blessings and then try to coach Him into getting it just the way you want it? Do you pray and then put stipulations on the prayer so that God get’s it right?
I have and I do.
God really is smarter than we think we are
Trust me, God has a plan for you and will bless you with what He knows you need and not what you think you want.
Before I even had a single child I would pray that God would make me a mom to 6 boys, no girls. I’m serious. Girls seemed like such a mess and I didn’t want any part of it.
I am now the proud mom of 5 daughters and not a single son. Oh God you are such a comedian.
God must have a good laugh at us.
God will get it right, we don’t need to worry so much about it. He loves to hear us pray but just because he doesn’t answer it exactly the way we want doesn’t mean that he wasn’t listening or that he doesn’t want us to have all the desires of our heart.
He simply knows what is best for you. He’s got it all mapped out for us so why don’t we take our hands off of the steering wheel and enjoy the ride.
Sweet heavenly Father thank you for giving us our needs and filtering our wants. Help us to take comfort in your plan for us and help us to be confident that we can give it all to you. Please have mercy on us when we think that we are in control. You are good all the time. When we are so focus on what we feel is best for us gently remind us that you go before us and that your love for us is greater than anything that we could ever try to compare it to. In Jesus name, amen.
That little baby that the nurses handed to me that day is now a few months away from being a teenager. She is one of the most beautiful blue eyed, brown haired little girls that I have ever seen. She is not even close to being a gymnast and I don’t think that I have ever seen her hold a tennis racket. Instead she’s an excellent volleyball player. She can play the piano, saxophone and violin. She is a straight A student and has a heart of gold.The best part about her is that she is a Jesus girl and not at all ashamed. I am so thankful that God didn’t answer my prayers that I prayed when I was pregnant with her. Instead he gave me so much more than I could have ever made up those nights while I laid in bed and prayed about her.