Covered Up In Shame

A few years ago my husband and I finally broke down and got a king sized bed. The kids love to hang out with us in bed and everyday we have a designated “snuggle time” when we all jump in bed and get our snuggle on.

My cousin gave us an old antique door to use as a headboard and we just happened to have some hand me down nightstands that matched perfectly. The big dilemma was the comforter. I wanted it to be perfect. It had to match the antique look of our room and it had to be super comfortable.

My husband begged me to stop using the term “shabby chic” to describe our made over room. He reminded me that being the only man in a family with 6 girl was hard enough without all the shabby chic talk. So I will refrain.

I searched everywhere and finally narrowed it down to two comforters. They were both hanging out on a shelf in Target waiting to see which one of them I would pick. I made my husband go up there with me to help me choose. He is useless in this department. He always says “I want whatever makes you happy”.

Those are dangerous words.

After swapping them in and out of our basket I finally decided on one and my husband shoved me out the door. When I got home and put it on my bed I realized that I had made the perfect choice.

Everything, and I do mean everything, in our home is a hand-me-down. This is one of the very rare items that we have actually purchased for ourselves.

Later that night my oldest daughter came in to our room and asked if she could give me a pedicure. Yeah, like I was going to turn that down. I made her put a towel under my feet so that she didn’t get anything on my new comforter.

Before she even got a single coat on one of my toes, the lid to the polished flipped out of her hands, soaring across the bed and landing on my 4 hour old, perfectly matched and super comfy comforter.

The lid flipped… and then I flipped.

Of course my daughter didn’t intentionally get polish on my bed and I knew that but I still freaked out. I remember yelling something about never getting to have nice stuff and that no one was ever allowed in our room again..EVER! My daughter tucked her tail and went to her room.

When I snapped out of it the guilt set in. Why in the world would I flip out over a comforter? We have a closet full of blankets and even though they aren’t the softest or prettiest, they will still keep us warm. To be honest, we live in Texas and very rarely need a blanket.

The two things that I missed the mark on that day were the fact that I am blessed to have a big comfortable bed and that my daughter wanted to do something sweet for me.

She wanted to serve me in a way that she knew I would love and she found reward in that. I ruined it because my tunnel vision was focused on that nail polish (bright red by the way) hanging out on my new comforter. What a jerk.

I tucked my tail and headed to my daughter’s room. I went on and on with my apology for getting so fired up over the polish. I tried to explain to my daughter why I got so upset over something that is simply material.

My daughter forgave me the minute I walked in to her room and didn’t really need the 30 minute apology. She just wants my attention and my love, that’s it.

Why do materialistic things get us so caught up? Why would I choose to be mad about the new comforter getting ruined over being grateful that my almost teenaged daughter wants to hang out with me.

My youngest daughter has been asking for a new pair of shoes for school. Everyday she tells me not to forget and everyday I forget. When she told me yesterday that I forgot again I snapped at her letting her know that I was working all day so that she could have the shoes to begin with and that I am extremely busy during the day (me,me,me!).

What a jerk I am. She’s freaking 6 years old for crying out loud. She doesn’t get the concept that I have to work all day to provide all the things that she has.

What has happened to me? I’m so wrapped up in the day to day hustle that I fail to feed my faith and compassion. I’m putting things be back where they belong. Sure, I’ll still look longingly at my comforter and get a slight twitch when I see that red spot but I’m going to choose to think about how awesome it is that my daughter and I have such a good relationship and that she still desires to serve me. She’s almost 13 and I’m no fool. I know that these times will become fewer and farther between. I better soak up every moment while I can, kind of like my amazing comforter soaked up that nail polish! Are we failing to see the beauty in things? The beauty of my room is not this silly comforter, it’s the little girls who beg to stay in here just a little longer. Are your eyes focused? What are they focused on? Are you focused on the comforter or on the little girl begging to serve you. It’s time to change our focus.

Let’s pray

Merciful Father help us to move our focus off of the materialistic things that so easily grab our attention and put it back on the true beauty that You created. When we become wrapped up in “things” gently turn our heads toward what holds real value. Help us to know what is truly of value and what is simply material.

In Jesus name,

Amen

 

The other day I went in to my daughters room and she had several towels laid out on her bed while she did her nails. I asked her why so many towels were need and she answered “I don’t want my comforter to get polish on it and look ruined and old like yours”. I had to physically stop myself from “accidentally” knocking her polish over on her comforter.

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