I Ran A Marathon Yesterday And Ate Nothing But Health Food.

You know what I’m tired of? Faking it! What would happen if we decided to post nothing but the truth on Facebook? YIKERS! What would happen if the words that came out of our mouths were only the truth and we had no control over it. Ever seen the movie Liar Liar! I’m not calling us liars but I think that we tend to pad the truth. God forbid we actually admit that there are dirty dishes piled in the sink or that we want to punch our husbands in the mouth sometimes. Why do we do that. Why are we so concerned with everyone thinking that our lives are all roses instead of getting honest, getting deep and getting real. It’s not going to make people walk away from us and if it does then those people weren’t supposed to be there in the first place. I’ve listed some of my confessions before on here but let me give you a few more. When my kids scream my name, I sometimes pretend that I cant hear them. When my boss asks if I stopped by a certain account I sometimes lie and say that I did, yep read it and weep boss, its the truth. I hope I don’t find my “pink slip” on my desk tomorrow. I don’t necessarily iron my clothes, it’s more of a hard shake and if I have time then they spend about 10 minutes in the dryer. Dinner sometimes consisted of frozen waffles, cooked of course but not really cut up with syrup, we call them circle waffles and it makes them sound fun. Instead of emptying out the blow up pool and putting fresh water in, I put a cup of bleach in at night and consider it to be a chlorinated pool. I do not run every morning and I certainly don’t track it on an app and post it so that everyone can see how ambitious I am. In all honesty my running tracker would track me to the refrigerator and back and that’s about it. I eat cookie dough straight out of the tub but I wait until my kids go to bed so that I don’t have to share. There is about 5 pounds of crumbs, hair bands, spoons and cheerios underneath my couch cushions. Now deeper and more honest. I’m obsessed with my fathers suicide. I pretend that I’m not but I am. That hotel that I said I stop going to, that might not necessarily be the whole truth. I drove by it today and saw that the maid was in there cleaning it with the door open. If I didn’t have another person in the car with me I would have stopped and peaked in. My marriage was two minutes away from divorce. Okay I lied it was about one minute away from divorce and I didn’t care. One night when my two month old daughter was up ALL NIGHT LONG with pneumonia, my husband had been out of town for 9 days and I had not slept at all, I turned to her sweet face and told her “You have got to shut the F&$@ up before I freak out.” And that is a direct quote. I can almost hear child protective service pulling in to my driveway . I sometimes hate parents that will never have to deal with an autistic child. I’m jealous of people who have money to burn. I suck at my job. Sometimes I suck at being a mom and even more than that I suck at being a wife. I get mad at God. Are you ready to click the X in the right hand corner of your screen and get out of this post yet? I am, but I think that I’m just now starting to get fired up so hold on! I got an email from a friend two nights ago and it started just like this “Ok…so I’m fixing to be REAL honest! I’m angry! I’m angry that I was abused and abandoned as a kid. I’m angry that I was told I was a fat, b$#$@ that was stupid and ugly! ” Thank you God that I am not the only one! What a blessing to get a message like that. Thank you to my sweet sister in Christ for sending me a message that was real. I am not alone. You are not alone. Not only am I confident that God is always with us but I am confident that every single one of us has a cross to carry. Jesus carried the heaviest cross that there ever was and He was without sin so who do we think that we are to think that we are entitled to anything, especially a burden free life. I would love to sit here and pump you up and tell you that everything is going to be sunshine and butterflies but lets be honest, it wont. God gives us test so that we will have a testimony. Without a testimony how do we lead others to His kingdom. How can we listen and council to friends if we cant relate. I am thankful that God took my marriage to the edge and threaten to push it off if we didn’t get our act together, get right with Him and get right and real with each other. I am even more thankful that he took my marriage to the edge when I get an email from a friend in need of support because hers or his marriage is being tested, thank you God for giving me the tools to relate. I have gotten to the point that I welcome and almost beg for God to give me trials so that I can grow, learn, heal, reveal, relate and testify because without any of that nothing about this life would make any sense. In the email from my friend she also wrote “I am and I do , but inside I just am screaming will someone please validate and reassure me that I am worthy to be loved and God has a Huge Plan for me and my kids!!!! Ugh! Pretty pitiful eh?!?!?” Pitiful? Not a chance. Brave, absolutely. To my friend: You are worthy. God loves you and not because of how amazing you are, how much you give, what a wonderful mother you are, how brave you are, how faithful you are or how unwavering in your love for Christ you are. He loves you because you are flawed, because you are honest, because you cry out to Him and because now matter what test He put in your life you remain loyal to Him and Him only. Ahhh what an amazing daughter He must think that you are. He must call the angels over and have them watch you throughout the day. He must turn to them and tell them all that He has put in front of you and how you have stood strong in your faith and continued to cry out to Him. I bet He brags about all of the people that you testify to. It is music to His ears. Rest now sweet sister, He is carrying you. Lets pray “Merciful Father, bring peace to our heart when you give us tests and help us to stand tall in Your word so that we can be an example to those whos faith is wavering. Give us trials that we can turn into testimonies so that we can help fill your kingdom with more an more angels. In Jesus name, amen” . One last confession. My inspection sticker AND my registration on my car are expired! I’m living on the edge!!

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