Is Your Air Conditioner Broken?

After we had our triplets and went down to one income, things got a little tight in my house. It became all about surviving and raising babies. It didn’t take long for my husband and I to start neglecting our marriage. We weren’t mean to each other, we didn’t intentionally hurt each other but we lost focus on us because we were so busy trying to keep our family above water. My husband managed a restaurant and work odd hours. It often left me alone taking care of the kids. I resented that he wasn’t home and he resented that he was always working. You see the catch 22 here? We never fell out of love with each other we just never nourished our marriage and it began to shrivel up. It all came crashing down one summer morning. We found ourselves standing in the kitchen at 5:30am, the kids were asleep and we were realizing that our marriage might be over. As we were standing there trying to place blame on each other I realized that I was covered in sweat. It was literally running down my legs and neck. Our air conditioner was broken. Summer days where we live easily reach over 100 degrees each day and nights aren’t much cooler. That morning I threw my hands up and we decided on a divorce. It took about 1 hour of talking to decided that. I think it was so hot that we just wanted to leave the kitchen and find a cooler place, away from each other. I took the kids to school and he left for work. When we got home that night we all had to sit in the master bedroom, mine and my husbands bedroom. Our house is very old and we have a wall unit AC in our bedroom. Since the central air conditioner was out we would all have to sleep in our bedroom…for the next 4 nights. This forced me and my husband to sit in the same room and be kind to each other in front of the kids. Oh God aren’t You a clever one! The first night my husband slept on the floor with the girls, we had made them a pallet. The second night he got in bed with me. Thank God for our king size bed, we put as much space between us as possible. The third night he got in bed and reach over and held my hand. On the fourth night we actually hugged. Finally we got our new air conditioner installed and our house was back to normal. By normal I mean a cool 74 degrees, not normal in the way of my marriage. On the fifth night after we had decided on divorce, we got in bed and I turned to my husband and simply said “I am your wife.”. God had told me earlier that day that I did not marry this man for better or for better. I married him for better or worse. Our lives had hit rock bottom and I wasn’t going to abandon my husband at his lowest point. I knew that not only was I going to have to forgive him but I was also going to have to beg for forgiveness for failing as a wife. For the next two months we sat up every night until the early morning hours talking out our issues. We both cried almost every night. My husband finally went to church with us after 4 years of us going without him and he gave His life to Christ. On September 12th, 2010 my husband and I were baptized together. God had been working on our marriage for much longer than we knew and He was waiting for us to realize that we need to put Him first in our marriage instead of ourselves. September 12th has become our new anniversary. One of my new favorite verses is this, “And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” Revelations 21:5. He makes everything new, all you have to do is give it to Him. My marriage was over and I knew that there was nothing that I could do about it so I gave it to Him. He is faithful, He is good and He is amazing. He created marriage and He wants to be the center of yours. We give up to easily and too often. We are programmed that if something is broken we buy a new one. Marriage is not disposable. Fight for it. Fight for our children who are watching our every move. If you are not married pray for those of us who are and pray for your future spouse. Pray for our sons and daughters and their future spouses. If your divorced, I am too. I am in my second marriage now. My divorce was my fault, yours might not be but God makes things new and He has wonderful plans for you. I fully understand that it takes both parties to make it work. Its time to take a stand and put God where He belongs, front and center. Lets pray “Faithful and loving Father, please help us to remain faithful in our marriages and to put You first. Help us to be role models of healthy marriages for the generation rising up. Give us the hearts stand up for what is right and to not be ashamed to seek You when our lives need help. In Jesus name, amen.” My husband now teaches the fifth grade boys bible study and the 4 year old Sunday school. He also volunteers to coach our church’s middle school football team. I am so proud of him for all of that but what really makes my heart melt in when I hear him pray with our children. Its also pretty sexy when I sneeze and he says “God bless you ” instead of just “bless you.”

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