I’m officially not cool.

Usually on Wednesday night my entire family heads up to our church for bible study, youth and AWANAa but last week was our awards ceremony to end the year so we were kind of lost last night.  Wednesday is our most scheduled and routine day.  My children thrive on daily routine.  Our church serves dinner on Wednesday night so it takes the pressure off of me and dad, that is the best part!.  Even though I love the kids that my husband and I teach, I have to admit that it is a little nice to be able to just sit at home one night of the week.  The youth program goes on through the summer so my oldest daughter begged me to take her up there and drop her off.  The church is only a minute away after all.  I decided not to change out of my pajamas (yep at 6 in the evening Im in pajamas) and drive her up to the church.  My pajama pants were white with hearts and wording all over them like “I love sleep” and “I love vacation”.  I topped off the outfit with a purple tank top, of course. I went in to my oldest daughters room and said “let’s go, I want to walk you up”…you could have heard a pin drop.  I got the confused stare and then the “Mom, are you serious right now?”.   I was absolutely serious.  I went to the car and she reluctantly followed.  Now, I wasn’t really going to walk her in but it was fun to watch her squirm.  When we pulled into the church she said, “ok mom just stop here and let me off”, we weren’t even close to the door.  When did this happen?  When did I become not cool?  That kid used to hang all over me, she wanted to be just like me.  I do have to say that we are still very close and she tells me everything, even when I’m not sure if I want to hear it or not.  Do we do this with our relationship with our heavenly Father?  I have.   I have gone in to a place or a time when I didn’t necessarily want anyone to see me with God.  There was a time when I thought I was too cool for Him.  There was actually a time in my life when I pretended not to know Him.  I turned my back to Him and ran my life the way that I wanted it to go, not the way He planned for it to go.  I cant imagine how sad this made Him.  I know that my heart was a little crushed when my daughter didn’t want me to walk her to youth so I’m sure God was hurt by my rejection.   I’m ashamed of it now but I know that He loves me regardless just as I love my daughter even though she made me drop her off….WAY over there!!  I will absolutely spend the rest of my life telling people about how much I love Him and how I only want His plan and will for my life and not my own.  I hope that my daughter proudly brags about her love for me to everyone she talks to the way I plan to brag about my love for God.  Lets pray “Sweet heavenly Father, forgive me for the times when I turned from you.  Teach me how to follow Your will and Your will only.  Take away any fear that I might have so that I can tell anyone who doesn’t know You just how wonderful you are.  In Jesus name, Amen”.  Ok so maybe it wasn’t “cool” to honk my horn and yell “Stiles, mommy’s here to get you” out the window when I picked her back up from youth last night.  Oh the joys of being the parent!

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